Jumper

Hayden Christensen might legitimately conclude that all the major critics have suddenly morphed into his most famous character when he reads their reviews of his latest movie, Jumper. Listen for the heavy breathing as you read the words of Jack Mathews in the New York Daily News: "Given its uninvolving story, uninteresting characters and the presence of half-man/half-tree Hayden Christensen, the movie is wholly dependent on special effects, which I rate only so-so." "Christensen was no doubt tapped for the role to pull in Star Wars fans," writes Walter Addiego in the San Francisco Chronicle, "and this comic book material isn't much of a test of whatever talent he may possess." (Hayden's co-star is Samuel L. Jackson, who played Star Wars' Mace Windu.) Describing the film as "a barely coherent genre mishmash," Manohla Dargis in the New York Times concludes that it is "all bad, from the subliterate dialogue to the chaotic direction and heavily edited points in between." Lou Lumenick in the New York Post says that most of the film is simply "a badly edited, hourlong chase sequence with some of the cheesiest special effects seen in a major studio release of late." (Lumenick's colleague, Kyle Smith, gives the film half a star on his blog on the Post's website -- but the responses to his review on his blog suggest how effective he may be in discouraging his readers from watching it. One from "hurt fan" reads: "i was looking forward to this movie man and now youve completely destroyed it for me. i can only pray that i find another artical that completely contradicts your argument." Another writes: "They only hate it because hayden christensen is in it. he's still being punished for star wars.") The film does receive a few so-so reviews. Peter Howell in the Toronto Star (perhaps giving Torontonian Christensen the benefit of a doubt) writes: "The movie is something of an abomination in narrative terms. But it does have its moments."