Synopsis:
Aboard the Serenity, Kaylee flirts with Simon, telling him she's never heard him swear. A short time later, Simon chastises Jayne for tearing apart the infirmary in an effort to find some tape. Mal appears and reminds Jayne - who has taped a gun to his midsection - that guns aren't allowed on Canton, the mud- covered planet they're about to land on. When the ship arrives at its destination, Mal explains that the crew will rendezvous with a man named Kessler, who is in possession of stolen goods the crew will deliver. With some prodding from Kaylee, Simon decides to accompany the group on the mission.The crew makes its way to the Canton mudworks, where Simon, posing as a mud buyer, speaks with a foreman. Afterward, the group wanders into town, where they happen upon a mud-clay statue that bears an uncanny resemblance to Jayne. Jayne informs the others that, years earlier, he pulled off a heist on the planet, but he cannot fathom why anyone would erect a statue in his honor for being associated with an unlawful act. Meanwhile, Inara travels by shuttle to the estate of President Higgins, who, it turns out, hired Inara to make a man out of his 26- year-old son, Fess, who is still a virgin. And aboard the Serenity, Book tends to River, who frustrates him no end by tearing pages out of the Bible in an effort to “fix” it.Inside a tavern, Mal and the others meet with a Well-Dressed Man, who explains that Kessler met an unfortunate end when the factory foreman caught him conducting a deal. Kessler's cache of stolen goods remains hidden, but the Well-Dressed Man advises everyone to lay low until he can come up with a plan to smuggle it past the foreman without detection. Shortly thereafter, the dumbfounded crew listens as tavern patrons sing a song about their hero, Jayne. The song tells a tale of a Robin Hood-like savior who stole from the Magistrate and distributed the wealth to the poor. After hearing the song, Jayne tells the crew that he stole money from Higgins, but during the getaway attempt was forced to jettison strongboxes filled with loot in order to keep his ship airborne. Patrons in the tavern recognize Jayne and call out his name.Aboard the Serenity, River and Zoe react with horror at the sight of Book as he walks through the corridors with messy hair and soap on his face. Mal arranges to have a “Jayne Day” celebration in the town square, creating a diversion that will allow the crew to smuggle the stolen goods past the foreman. Meanwhile, the foreman alerts Higgins of Jayne's presence…and a look of hatred crosses Higgins' face. Higgins travels to a prison field, where he approaches a man named Stitch Hessian, whose face is badly disfigured. Higgins hands Stitch a shotgun. and tells him that Jayne - who pushed Stitch out of a hover- plane during the robbery to keep it aloft - is in town. Stitch tenses with rage.After having sex with Inara, Fess complains that he thought he'd feel more like a man. But Inara points out that Fess probably wouldn't have dared say such a thing when they first met. Later, Fess informs Inara that his father has found out about Jayne, and has instructed Port Control to place a land-lock on the Serenity to prevent it from taking off. Inara touches Fess' cheek and asks him what he plans on doing about it. Mal and Wash ride a mule to a remote part of the planet, where they find the stolen goods they've been hired to smuggle. Meanwhile, Stitch pulls a switchblade on Simon and slashes his arm and then hauls him out the tavern door.A short time later, Jayne delivers a speech to worshipers in the town square. Suddenly, the sound of a shotgun blast fills the air. Stitch tells the worshipers the truth about what happened during the robbery…and how Jayne threw money out of the hover-plane not as a selfless, charitable act, but as an act of self-preservation. One of the worshipers, Meadows, throws himself in front of Jayne as Stitch fires a blast from his gun. Meadows falls to the ground, dead. A fierce battle ensues between Jayne and Stitch. Jayne smashes Stitch's head against the statue, defeating him. He then topples the statue.Meanwhile, back at the Serenity, Wash discovers a land-lock is preventing the ship from taking off. But when Inara inquires about any difficulties, the land-lock signal disappears. Inara smiles. At the president's estate, Fess informs his father that he sent an override to Port Control, lifting the land-lock on the Serenity. Fess suspects that his father's plan to turn him into a man may have worked after all.